But there’s such joy in it, I tell you! And so, for the next five minutes, I will give myself permission to be a nasty smarty-pants and present to you:

1. “My kids know how to tow the line.” I always picture a kid with a line slung over his shoulder, pulling for all he’s worth. It is properly toe the line. As in, to not make the roller coaster operator yell at you.
2. “We were able to eek out a compromise.” Ball your hands into fists, squint your eyes and squeal “A compromise!” It’s fun. Correctly, this is eke out a compromise.
3. “I was waiting with baited breath.” My absolute fave. Caviar is good, but some people swear by a good old-fashioned worm. It should be bated. As in abate, to diminish or repress.

And now I shall return to being the proper lady that my mother and Miss Manners would like me to be. Pay no attention to the lady behind the curtain. Yes, she is a pedant. But most of the time she knows better.